top of page
  • Writer's pictureTina Chan

A Journey of Healing: Learning to Love Self and Others

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”—Lucille Ball

Today, I find myself reflecting on a journey of healing and self-discovery that has been marked by betrayal, abandonment, and profound hurt. Life's twists and turns have led me down a path that required me to not only mend the wounds inflicted by others but also to rebuild my capacity to love myself and those around me. This journey is an ongoing process, but it's one that has brought invaluable lessons and insights.

Betrayal is a heavy burden to carry. It's a wound that runs deep and shakes the foundations of trust. When we are betrayed, we may question our judgment, our self-worth, and the very nature of human relationships. In the aftermath of such an experience, it can feel impossible to open our hearts again. But what I've learned is that healing begins with forgiveness—not for the sake of the one who caused the pain but for our own liberation. Forgiveness doesn't excuse their actions; it frees us from the chains of anger and resentment.

Abandonment, whether it's physical or emotional, can leave us with a sense of unworthiness and a fear of forming new connections. It's a scar that reminds us of our vulnerability. Learning to love oneself after abandonment is a journey towards self-reliance and self-acceptance. It's about recognizing that we are enough, even when others have walked away. It's about becoming our own source of strength.

Hurt is a universal human experience. It's an emotion that touches us all at some point in our lives. To love ourselves and others after being hurt, we must embrace vulnerability. It's a paradox that allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is an act of courage. It's a conscious decision to open our hearts, knowing that we may get hurt again. But in that vulnerability lies the potential for the deepest connections and the most profound healing.

The journey of healing after betrayal, abandonment, and hurt is not linear. It's a path that involves moments of progress and moments of setback. It's about self-compassion, understanding that it's okay to have days when the pain resurfaces, and it's okay to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when needed.

Learning to love oneself again is not a selfish act; it's a vital act of self-preservation. It's about rebuilding self-trust and self-respect. It's recognizing that we are deserving of love and kindness, both from others and from ourselves. It involves practicing self-care and nurturing our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Learning to love others anew requires courage and a willingness to see the beauty and goodness in people despite the past. It's about recognizing that not everyone will betray or abandon us. It's a conscious choice to approach relationships with an open heart and to give others the benefit of the doubt.

TRUTH: This journey has taught me that while scars may remain, they do not define us. They serve as reminders of our strength and resilience. We can find a way to love ourselves and others again, even after enduring the deepest pain. It's a journey that demands patience, self-compassion, and a commitment to growth. As I continue on this path, I am reminded that every step forward is a triumph, and every act of love is a victory over the shadows of the past.


bottom of page