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  • Writer's pictureOanh Kim

How I Taught My Kids to Be Resilient

"Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt. You fall. But, you keep going." - Yasmin Mogahed
Oanh and her son

As a fellow parent, I understand the challenges that come with raising a resilient child. The unpredictability of life can often cause worry about how our children will handle obstacles that come their way. However, by teaching our children how to be resilient, we are giving them a gift that will last a lifetime. In this guide, I'd like to share my experience with positive and mindful parenting to promote resilience in children.


Encourage Independence

Encouraging independence is one of the best ways to help children build resilience. By letting our children learn how to do things on their own and providing them with the tools to handle challenges, we can instil confidence in them. Using phrases like "I trust you to make good choices" or "You can do it!" when our children face difficult tasks can help them handle challenges on their own, building their resilience.


Growth Mindset

Fostering a growth mindset is also crucial in raising a resilient child. By teaching our children that failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, we can encourage them to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. When our children experience setbacks, we can help them see it as a chance to learn something new. In my own experience, I ask my son to share his daily failures during our bedtime routine, and I also share my own failures to reinforce that failing is okay and that there's always something to learn from it.


Model Resilience

Children learn by example, so it's important to model resilience in our own lives. We can stay positive and optimistic, encourage perseverance, embrace mistakes, and foster problem-solving skills. When our children see us handling challenges with grace and strength, they're more likely to do the same. Personally, I've made an effort to learn new things to lead by example, even if they're out of my comfort zone. It's a powerful tool and has worked for me every time.


Build a Support System

No one can handle life's challenges alone, so we should help our children build a support system of family, friends, and mentors who can offer encouragement and guidance during difficult times. Consistency has helped me to connect with my children and make them feel loved. Celebrating our children's successes, no matter how small, reinforces the value of hard work and perseverance.


Celebrate Successes

Giving our children opportunities to make decisions and solve problems on their own is also essential. When our children face challenges, we should resist the urge to step in and solve the problem for them. Instead, we can offer guidance and support as they work to find a solution on their own. By doing so, we can build their confidence and resilience.


Importance of Self-Care

Teaching our children the importance of self-care, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly, can also help build resilience. We can model healthy habits and offer support as they develop their own self-care routine.


Encouraging our children to believe in themselves and their abilities is crucial. We can let them know that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the learning process and that they can always try again. By instilling a growth mindset and encouraging self-belief, we can help our children develop the resilience they need to tackle life's challenges.


In addition to these steps, positive and mindful parenting can also promote resilience in children. By focusing on the positive aspects of our children's behaviour and using positive reinforcement to encourage good behaviour, we can build a strong bond and foster a positive attitude and mindset. Practising mindfulness and being fully present in our interactions with our children can also help them feel heard, understood, and supported, promoting resilience.


I know that positive and mindful parenting is easier said than done. However, I am intentionally trying every day, and I believe that with time, our children will learn resilience and thrive.


Do you have other ideas that you would like to share with our community? Comment below, we would love to hear from you.



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