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  • Writer's pictureTina Chan

The Ultimate Balancing Act: Life as a Single Mom

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou.

White Flower

As a single mom for 18 years, I have had my fair share of struggles and challenges. However, despite the difficulties, I have found that being divorced has brought a sense of liberation and freedom that I could have never imagined.

Coming from a Chinese Indonesian background, certain cultural and societal norms must be followed to show respect to one's family. And, being the first person in my family to get divorced was difficult. It was hard to break away from the traditional expectations placed upon me by my family. Still, I realised I had to do what was best for my daughter and me.

I married when I was 25 to a man I had known since I was 18. We were engaged a year later and got married seven years later. Looking back, our marriage was not a happy one, but I still tried to hold on for another five years after our daughter was born. However, my ex-husband eventually decided to call it quits, leaving me devastated but ultimately relieved.

While being a single mom has not been easy, I have found that it has allowed me to take control of my own life and make decisions for myself and my family. I have focused on my work and supported my daughter without the added stress of a complicated relationship.

After my divorce, I went through a lot of personal growth and reflection. I participated in therapy and meditation retreats to help me heal and move forward. These experiences have taught me much about myself and helped me become stronger and more resilient.

Being a single mom has allowed me to see things from a different perspective. I have learned to appreciate the little moments in life and cherish my time with my daughter. We have grown and thrived together, and I am grateful for every moment we have spent together.

Ultimately, being divorced has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed me to take control of my path and become the person I was meant to be. While it hasn't always been easy, I feel hopeful for the future and grateful for the strength and resilience I have gained throughout this journey.

TRUTH: The scars from my marriage still exist, but they remind me that I need to make my own decisions and not let others dictate my path.


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